Picky's Red Wagon
by Sifl-senpai
Summary: Sometimes, you just gotta love thy neighbor- you gotta love 'em even more than your own family. Oneshot.


I don't own Earthbound. Zoom!

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Picky had a wagon once. It was red and had bright blue wheels, like the kind of thing you'd see in a silly cartoon where the neighborhood kids always made huge amounts of trouble and then got out of it by banding together and using their natural ingenuity and teamwork skills. Those kids always had everything cleaned up the instant before their parents got home and life went on, peachy keen, with only furtive glances going kid-to-kid as evidence to their shenanigans.

Now, there was no fooling Picky Minch; that kind of situation was as fanciful as his wagon's colors. He always managed to get caught for everything he ever did, whether he actually did anything or not. His brother, Pokey, was infamous for causing trouble and then blaming it on whoever was nearby, usually Picky. Life was pretty well a cycle of getting blamed, getting punished, and trying not to get in trouble and causing more trouble for himself in the process. Lather, rinse, repeat.

And then, there was Ness.

He was their neighbor and was about Picky's brother's age, actually a year younger (Pokey detested this fact.)He exuded all sorts of cheerful vibes that somehow made Picky think that it could be possible to get away with mischief like those kids in the cartoons. Picky loved to watch Ness do tricks with his yellow-and-electric-blue yoyo, and he loved it even more when Ness let he and his brother Pokey try to use it and learn tricks Ness showed them how to do. Heck, the only thing better than that was when Ness invited both boys ("Why can't Picky come, too?" he'd suggest in a way that Pokey, or their mother Lardna, couldn't argue with) over to play baseball and then had them all camp out in their backyards, hanging their tent over the fence because they'd used the tent poles for the tree house Ness had convinced all the kids in town to help make. Then, in the morning, Ness would play rock music on his cherry red electric guitar loud enough to wake everybody (including Mr. Agerate who lived on the hill) up. It was the best.

Ness also had a little sister named Tracy who was smart as a whip and almost as perfect as her brother. She liked to play princess and would often interrupt the boys' baseball games, tree house meetings, or Pac-Man sessions at the local arcade (actually, Ness would only play just to beat Pokey's high score and get his goat- Area 51 was Ness' real game of choice) just so that she could have a tea party with both real people _and _dolls ("Cultural integration," she'd say. "I don't wanna be like those hicks in Twoson!") Or so that she could have royal subjects that would actually do her bidding (King, Ness' lazy old sheepdog, certainly wasn't going to play with her.) And, as the obliging older brother, Ness would put what he was doing on hold (usually) and go appease his sister, even going so far as to give Tracy the last part of his candy bars.

Pokey _never _did that for Picky.

When Ness and Pokey were away without Picky and Picky wasn't in trouble (and sometimes even when he was), he'd go over to Ness' house just to play with Tracy. He liked Tracy, even though her precocious mannerisms sometimes made him feel simple and stupid. He could often be seen pulling Tracy, decked out in her plastic princess bling, along their street and through town in his little red and blue wagon.

Once, he'd even spent his whole allowance (and some of Pokey's that he stole!) buying Tracy candy and plastic necklaces from the local drug store.

When he'd carted her and her loot back to her house in his little wagon, her mother had been so amused that she sat Picky down and fed him leftover steak (Ness' favorite, actually, so Picky had turned it down and said he wasn't hungry even though he was totally starving. He wasn't about to eat his idol's favorite food and deny him the pleasure.) As he put the steak back in the refrigerator, she sternly (but gently) told Tracy that she shouldn't take advantage of Picky's generosity and make him spend all his money.

Picky didn't want Tracy to get into trouble (Lord knew that if Tracy's momma had been Lardna, her little backside would be the color of the cherry tomatoes in Ness' back yard), so he immediately said,

"That's alright! We're gonna share 'em! I like to play dress-up, too!"

To which Ness and Tracy's mom was so surprised that it took about five seconds before the most melodious laughter Picky had ever heard escaped from her mouth and she offered that Picky stay for "Girls' and one gentleman night" and they watched cheesy movies that Picky would never admit to anyone else enjoying. They made popcorn (using the hairdryer, of all things!)He even got to have his toes painted after he painted Tracy's (another thing he'd have to keep secret.) In fact, they'd even gossiped about the creepy way that Pokey liked Tracy's mom.

Picky liked Ness' mom a whole lot, too, but in a different way than his brother, even though she was silly and forgetful and sometimes downright impractical.

The only thing that wasn't quite perfect with Ness' family was the issue of his father. He was never home and Pokey couldn't stake his life on it, but he got the feeling that Ness' mom didn't always get along with him. He called often enough, but Picky noticed that Ness was always the one to pick up the phone, never his mother. Picky had asked his brother about it one time but Pokey had only frowned and told him to shut up. And being cowardly, Picky did.

One day, Pokey was feeling so malicious that he got their dad Aloysius to spank Picky so roughly (for something or another Pokey had done) that Picky loaded his red wagon and ran away from home. He was halfway to Twoson when Ness and their crazy neighbor, Lier X. Agerate, found him.

Ness explained how worried they had been about him and how Pokey and Tracy and his Mom were combing the other side of town looking for him. (Picky's parents hadn't been home so Ness had recruited Mr. Agerate to drive him around and help search. Mr. Agerate was so weird that Picky found it totally understandable that Pokey wouldn't ride with him, even with their recent quarrel.)

Picky and Ness loaded the wagon and all its contents in the back ("Dude, a rubber chicken?! What good was that going to do ya?") and got him home before anybody got into any more trouble.

When Picky's parents had asked what he'd been up to, he replied, "Nothing," and shot a furtive glance to Tracy, Pokey, Ness, King, Ness' Mom, and the boys from the clubhouse in town that were all watching from behind Ness' fence.

Wow. It was just like a cartoon with red wagons with blue wheels.


End file.
